Pretty in Pink

It's surprisingly hard to think about celebrating when the people you love are essentially halfway across the world. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have gotten to where I am today, with people who love me supporting me from halfway across the world, but the truth is, at this moment, I wish I were with them, at home, in my own bed, using my own incredibly slow wireless, feeling the mountain breeze from Los Angeles, and being able to hear my mother's voice in the morning undistorted by space and silicon. It's an incredibly selfish notion because not many people have the opportunities to have the opportunities that I have, to make a difference in the world, to have an adventure in a country where the history is the history in the history books, where the language is a mysterious blend of the familiar and foreign, where the people are incredibly kind and fun-loving, and where the work is flexible and worthwhile to help an important cause. I'm only a coherent writer sometimes, so it's incredibly hard for me to express the particular feelings I have in words, but I do know this. It's the first time, in twenty years, that I've been away from home on this day, that I've been without my dearest friends and my family near me in some way.

I wrote a couple of blog posts ago that I was simultaneously thankful for new technology and afraid it was going to consume me. I realize now that it will never do so. I am thankful that I have a chance to instantaneously connect with those who are far away, yet at this moment, I know it's never going to be enough. An electronic high five is no where near as satisfying as the smack of palm on palm, the prickle of the nerve endings that convey the knowledge of a mutual mental sync. A *hug* can never replace the warm enveloping embrace and its accompanied feeling of safety and unconscious sigh of relief. And so though spending this day in Greece will probably be one of the great adventures of my life (there's a bottle of Ouzo on the kitchen counter), it means just a little bit less to know that the people I am experiencing it with, however wonderful they may be, are not the same people I would have chosen to join me on this awesome adventure. This is why I write these entries, not to brag about what I've done, where I've been, but to reminisce about who I've become so I don't forget, and share with those I care about dearly, so that you may live these adventures with me (without the sunburn and sweaty shirts).

I may not be able to transform myself like Andie Walsh did because I have neither pink dress nor sewing kit, but the one thing I can take comfort in knowing is that I'm no Sam Baker. And I thank you all for that.


xoxo