Midway Reflections

The date is July 1, 2010.

I am officially halfway through my stay in Athens now, and the Summer of 20 is 1/3 over. Yesterday, as I was buying my monthly metro pass, I had a sudden moment of revelation that a month had already passed. It's a little scary to realize that time is passing so quickly, to know I've already actually been independent for a month, that I've been away from my family and friends, to know that I only have a month left to finish my project, and that I've seen so many amazing things and have had so many amazing experiences in such a short amount of time. During this time, I have felt rejuvenated and broken, uplifted and in despair, validated and helpless. It's a lot of emotions to feel in one month, but it confirms, at least to me, that I'm not a Cyber[wo]man.

Something quite mundane: the weather in Athens has been just wonderful, at least, in my eyes. For the past couple of weeks, it has been thunderstorming on and off. I realize this is due to the global weather changes, but when I lay awake a couple nights ago listening to the thunder and watching the lightning, I felt an intense sense of peace. Maybe it was exhaustion, but since then, I feel like I have grown up a little bit. It's only been a day, you say. Still. This summer. These past couple of years. My whole life. What can I say? As I look back on the things I used to write about, I can still see that girl within me, the one who tried so hard to not let herself get complacent with her happiness, the one always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wasn't a very trusting teenager; probably a smart move on my part, as I remember what high school was like. But to compensate for that, I was at once overly bubbly and super emo at the same time. I held on too tightly to acquaintances and wouldn't let my true friends in close enough. And I wrote about the most INANE things.

Quotes from younger years:

In the morning, I played tennis for about an hour and then I went to the picnic and played frisbee for a while. I think I had forgotten how fun frisbee was.

Woah! My legs are like jelly from sitting in the car for so long. I should go running....or dancing. Yeah...dancing will ungelly (=P) my legs!! *dances*

 People will say that I don't have to study for the history final tomorrow, but I'm still going to after my break.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me these days. I feel so apathetic towards everything. Nothing interests me anymore. It's like everything's moving so fast and I'm left behind. Time has just disappeared. I'm going to turn 15 [<--points to large red number and the fact that I wrote this 5 years ago] in a couple of weeks and it doesn't feel like I should.

Anyhow, just some reminiscing. I'm thinking that I might restart one of those inane blog things when I get back to school. Just to give me something to rant with or something. I may go back to LJ just because I don't feel like looking up code for current music/mood/location. Something to think about.

Ok this has turned into a "Angela's going to write the first thing that comes into her mind" post, so I'll wrap it up.

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As of now, I'm halfway through and I have completed 50% of the List. Yeah. That's right, baby. You didn't think I would actually go through with it. But I am. :D

My plans for the weekend are to go to dun dun dun....ROMA. That's right. Party with the Italians for awhile. And I'm going with my future roomie, Maria, so we'll get to do some roomie bonding activities. I am super stoked, because although I have not seen nearly enough of Greece, I feel, for my sanity, that I need to get away for a little while. Just from all the drama, and the strikes, and the yelling. This is going to be awesome.

So here's a cheer to a great month had and a great month to come. And if you're reading, you're awesome for sticking with me this far. So cheers to you too. :)

Contemplatively yours,

Angela